I Should Probably Title This Blog

orgasmic-humor:

Life tip: don’t believe your mom when she tells you “we’ll only be here for a little while”

(via postermonster)

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*

me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

burqalicious:

if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused

(Source: maahammy, via jellyfishjackj)

jellyfishjackj:

….. but can a lesbian be “straight up” with you?

ninadobrev:

And thus… Strive for true beauty ladiesView more Nina Dobrev on WhoSay

ninadobrev:

And thus… Strive for true beauty ladies

View more Nina Dobrev on WhoSay

(via talsballs)

Sexualities (with pizza!)

Straight person: I like plain pizza!

Gay person (male or female): I like pepperoni pizza!

Bisexual: I like both pepperoni and plain pizza!

Pansexual: I like any kind of pizza, no matter the topping.

Asexual: I don't like pizza.

Aromantic: I don't like pizza either, but I may enjoy the smell or the aesthetic.

Demisexual: I only enjoy pizza if it's specially made for me.

Homophobe: What is wrong with you? God made pizza to be plain, not so you can put all these toppings on it!!

Homophobe: And you can't like both plain and pepperoni! You're just confused! Choose one and stop being greedy!

Homophobe: WAITER! See that person getting pepperoni pizza? Take it back, because I don't like that.

sundryedtomatoes:

and now time for heavy shit with beyonce. 

sundryedtomatoes:

and now time for heavy shit with beyonce. 

(Source: vongruby, via rachelzoftig)